Cow Analagies – Damn Funny. Must Read

A Tale of Two Cows

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM. You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION. You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION. You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION. You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called ‘Cowkimon’ and market them worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION. You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION. You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION. You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are. You break for lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION. You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION. You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment and high bovine productivity. You have the newsman who reported on the numbers arrested.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION. You have two cows. You worship them.

A MALAYSIAN CORPORATION. You have two cows. You signed a 40-year contract to supply milk at 0.06 per lit. Then midway you raised the price to 0.60 or you cut supply. When the buyer agrees to the new price, you change your mind again and now want 1.20. The buyer decided you can keep the milk and they go look for milk that comes from recycled cows. Your two cows retire together with the PM.

A SINGAPOREAN CORPORATION. You have two cows: One “cow-peh” and one “cow-bu”.

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yay~ it’s gonna be StarHub for my IPP.Gong Xi Gong Xi
Gong Xi wo ~~~~

=D

=/

3 similar cuts, 1 electic shock one the same right hand in just 3 days.

am i lucky or what?

hurhur~

arse-holes

fucking hypocrites

fuck off

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tireD

ahh… cleaning up the foyer can be such a chore!!! every muscle in my body is aching like hell right now. =( Darn Chinese New Year with some darn customs and darn beliefs and darn supersitions. Boo to that !!! The only thing nice about CNY is FOOD! YEs, FOOD and ang pows !! but m0re of the f00d!! not the books definitely. wAhahaha~

urgh.. let me bitch about the cleaning up part. I realised i collected SO much junk since the 6mths break after 0 levels. So many tanks to dispose now. urgH. Cleaned up the 2tier 4ft tank. Sparkling clean now. hehe.. BUt the worst thing today is that the darn water pipe BURST !!! spray all over and i got a free bath out in the open of my foyer. luckily there’s no perverts in my neighbourhood. =p

Hmm.. wat else i did… racked my brain over where to put the pond so it’ll look nice. So it was shifting and shifting and shifting for the whole 1 n 1/2 hours. And the darn kennel. Cleaned the whole thing inside out. It’s DAMN heavy, just the roof alone. And all milo did was to sit there and watch me. *#@&$!^$&^$&^#@&%$@&%^(#!&$

oh well. off to bed i guess! *yawns*

*ps hope u find ur file lj.

hmm

Slept till 3.30pm today. What a pig i am! But it feels great though, esp when u don’t really get to sleep for the whole week. Woke up too late to shop for new year stuff =S Practically no mood for that at all. This year’s new year seems to arrive a little too fast. Or was it because everyone’s mood was affected by the numerous events that happened over the past year? Hmm.. hopefully this year will turn out great!

Anyway, wenD came over to my house just now. Thanks for your company and the chocolate muffin! Been ages since i ate chocolate stuff Hmm.. the question u asked me just now provoked alot of feelings and thoughts in me. See la~ u made me think about sad things. Is that why u came over to my house for?!?!?!? hahaha.. just kiddinG! Anyway, u really made me think hard about it. And you’re not the only one that asked me that qns. Should be the 3rd time someone asked me that i think. Oh well, enough of that. Go update ur blog, it’s getting too dry!

syA, last week i went to Kallang! Surprising, i remembered my way there. But walking into Kallang alone feels totally different from walking with you. Walking alone is boring, compare to walking with you. All the heart to heart talk, gossips, discussions and debates. And walking along the carpark made me thought of something! The explosion, and people rushing us to walk to safety. Terrible incident! And the “horror” story u told me about a particular block in kallang. eeKS!

The making of the Memoirs of a Geisha on CNA now. cyA~

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.– Walter Winchell

have fun with ur birthdatE!!

Try this! Its very interesting!!

first: Your birthday month

January- I wrestled
February- I slapped
March- I murdered
April- I looked at
May- I had sex with
June- I slept with
July- I laughed at
August- I stabbed
September- I shot
October- I made love to
November- I masturbated with
December- I crapped

Now pick the day of your birth

1. A prostitute
2. An Asian
3. A Woman with HIV
4. A drunken black man
5. Santa Clause
6. A playboy bunny
7. A married mom
8. My stuffed bunny
9. Your mom
10. A playboy bunny
11. A football player
12. The devil
13. My lettermans Jacket
14. My teacher
15. The Rock
16. A DVD player
17. A pencil sharpener
18. The phone
19. My computer
20. A pornstar
21. The tape measurer
22. The Lamp
23. The pope
24. Governor Schwarzenegger
25. Mr. Incredible
26. A transvestite
27. A goat
28. Your hot sister
29. George Bush
30. A tape recorder
31. The printer

Now the THIRD letter of your LAST name

A- Because I like chocolate
B- Because I was bored
C- Because my pants were on too tight
D- Because I am a homosexual
E- Because I had a frying pan
F- Because I didnt get any presents for
Christmas
G- Because I like eggs
H- Because the world will end tomorrow
I- Because I slit my wrists
J- Because I dont have a bf/gf
K- Because I like football
L- Because I love slumber parties
M- Because I was masturbating
N- Because my heart is two sizes too small
O- Because fruit cakes fly
P- Because Im lonely
Q- Because my parents fight a lot
R- Because Im horny
S- Because I Can
T- Because I hate school
U- Because I was drunk
V- Because I wanted to
W- Because it calms me
X- Because I like brownies
Y- Because I like to spoon
Z- Because I need to masturbate

arr!!! mine was :

I masturbated with George Bush Because I like brownies =/

don’t worry dudes.. i won’t do that even if i love brownies. lol!

now what have u got? =p

aDidas

yesterday i was telling sy that i haven’t bought adidas products for a looooong time
and today, i got myself an adidas jacket. sO did sy =) Muhaha

went all the way to MOE with sy.. the darn security made me wait outside
anyway, it’s sooo the interview went great. ask sy abt it. sounds like a lot of fun to me! haha

Fish & Co soon ok sy? when u fix that throat of urs. =p
and guess wat~~ my mom told me that Starhub is a buona vista!!
if u get to MOE, i get to Starhub = lunch together!! Don’t eat in their cafe la~ it sucks. HAHAHAHA

wenD.. u bitch! thnxs for ur concern abt my leg. lol =D
come to my hse soon~! hehe

*ps: zee, not sure if u see this, anyway take care and enjoy ur work

i’m a big asshole who can’t get datelines right

yawn

it suddenly dawn on me that i don’t have much time left
=(