i just kinda miss you right now

on thin ice

hello, do you hear me speak? after so long, i realised that i’m still alive, still breathing, and still suffering. what good is there in mankind? i see faces everyday. but none to confide in. why are you always so far away when i need you?

i know it’s the time again. i’m feeling faint. so beaten that i… i don’t want to face anything, anymore. i don’t deserve any sympathy, any encouragement, any chance. leave me alone.

i find it nauseating that some dick might be reading this -rolleyes-

where’s milo?

i can still feel the answer stuck at the back of the throat.

i feel anger.

i feel hatred.

i feel violence.

everytime i hear that shit, i feel like throwing a punch and walk away.

but i can’t cause i’m not 2, i’m 20.

how do you just forget?

Jac mentioned that she haven’t seen me since graduation and it’s already 2008 now. It doesn’t even feel like 2008. I’m like stuck at this time frame which i can’t seem to find the exit.

My mind feels like it’s bogged with a thousand and one things. I keep trying to figure out what they are. Maybe it’s just one thing. One day, my mind is gonna explode and all these shit will just have no where to be in. Serve you right.

Religious beings, do not read on.

I find it amusing that people actually pray to God. I mean, he’s just another fucking judgmental bastard (the other one is Santa). Who is he to give and take life like that, screwing people’s life, then pretend to be there to help them. Hey, it’s my life and you’re picking on me just for your own fucking amusement! Is that what it takes to be God? To be a fucking sadist who preys on the weak? Then i can be a fucking great one too, i tell you. If you’re so great, why didn’t you just take me with him? huh? fucking useless dude. keep that heaven of yours to yourself. i’m not going there to be face more hypocrisy from you, bastard.